It seems that the United States of Upside-Down Hippopotamus has issued a declaration of blog war on the sovereign republic of Faggoty-Ass Faggotistan. The conflict: A fully attributed "borrowing" of Chancellor David's Friday Chupacabra Blogging.

We have called an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council to take up this egregious matter.

In short, we believe this is an unjust unilateral action that is highly illegal under international treaty because:

1. Chupacabra is not registered with the United States Patent and Trademark Office or any other recognized body. Therefore, the term is in the public domain and open for use by all.

2. David is a poopie head.

Our complex analysis reveals that, in fact, this dispute has little to do with copyright law. Rather, our diplomats advise us that this build up has completely to do with the United States of Upside-Down Hippopotamus' severe shortage of oil. In particular - lube.

Faggoty-Ass Faggotistan has extensive natural resources of lube that, once developed, have the capability to supply the U.S.U-D.H. with full lubritory supplies for several decades. The U.S.U-D.H. is making a power grab for precious, precious oil.

It comes as a surprise to no one within these borders that David's last name is a variation on "Bush".

Our security agency has discovered a secret U.S.U-D.H. weapon that is poised to attack our borders: a vicious, genetically altered chupacabra. Because of Chancellor David's reliance on weapons of mass urban legend, we have implemented our own program to counter this threat.

This is Faggoty-Ass Faggotistan, and we have therefore turned to our own expertise: creatures of GAY urban legend. To whit, we have launched the Manhattan (the drink, not the city, silly!) Project.

Our scientists have collected a pubic hair of the queer porn star who claimed to have slept with Tom Cruise. After extracting DNA from that strand of hair, they combined it with the sperm soup pumped from Mick Jagger's stomach in the 1970s. They then irradiated that sperm in a powerful tanning bed, and impregnated the gerbil removed from Richard Gere's (John Travolta's? Mr. Slave's?) arse, thus creating the following monstrosity:

This surely shall be our finest hour.