December 17, 2007
House of wax
The table was a sort-of black lacquer, with a 6-inch-tall glass pillar candle -- the kind that looks best with an image of Jesus mass-printed on the side.
I sat down -- he was already there -- and we began the usual first-date conversation flirtations.
After a half-hour or more, I noticed I had just bumped the candle with my elbow.
"Oops," I thought to myself. "Better move that back to the center of the table. You don't want to make one of your wild gestures and send a candle flying.
We kept chatting, laughing, eating. It was a good time. More time passed.
Suddenly, I noticed the candle brushing my hand.
"Didn't you move that to the center of the table?" I asked myself. "Odd."
I pushed it back to the center.
We finished eating. Dessert. More stories. More flirting.
A thump.
Darkness.
We both looked around the table, then at each other.
"I knew it!" I cried out, leaping up. "That candle was moving!"
And there it was, rolling back and forth on the floor, having slowly, imperceptibly slid across the table over the course of a two-hour date.
I patted down my arm, my pants. No wax.
Shrugging, I sat back down. We finished our date in darkness.
A walk to the car, a kiss.
As I drove away, I glanced down.
And discovered the front of my coat was covered in wax.
What a gentleman not to have said anything.
Or what a man not to have noticed.
And that's how my coat ended up in the freezer.
posted by
F-AF @ 03:22 PM on 12.17.07
The date does sound nice, but are some details missing? I mean, did YOU put your coat in the freezer? That wasn't the impression I got from your previous post... There seems to be a break in the timeline of events. Too many cocktails for a clear memory? Did someone ELSE put your coat in the freezer (but why, then, did you walk to your car?) C'mon, FAF -- more clear and concise details please. I know a "lady never kisses-n-tells" but those of us that are date-starved live vicariously through your adventures (and misadventures as well!) LOL!
Posted by:
Tim |
December 18, 2007 09:23 PM
And another thing, who is Martha and what role did she play in this fish net and hot wax dinner date? You said she would approve. Why is her approval so important to the plot of this tale? Was she a dominatrix brought in to entertain between courses? What kind of jacket were you wearing at this dinner -- a black leather restraining jacket? I mean, unless you're in a restaurant, who wears a jacket to dinner if they're not dining with the Rockerfella's.
I agree with Tim, there's a lot of gaping holes in this story, plus I think that FAF has left out some details. I hate to make this into a big conspiracy, but was there a second shooter hiding in the shadows?
Posted by:
Prisoner of Cell Block Q |
December 20, 2007 07:41 AM
Well.... the good news is that you had a date that he will remember. In a good way, I think.
My most memorable date ended with the paramedics because the date was passed out in a diabetic coma on my floor.
Good times.
Posted by:
Gene |
December 21, 2007 09:48 PM
Merry Christmas Fagilicious!! Hope you have that wax out of your one good, decent dinner jacket and melted onto your date's nipples where it truly belongs in time to have a Happy New Year!!!!
Posted by:
The Ghost of Christmas Presents |
December 25, 2007 12:27 PM
How sad FA-F has gone missing... It's definitely disappointing to check daily for new postings when none appear. Sigh -- I guess that date must have worked out after all, that FA-F has fallen head-over-heels (or should that be heels-over-head?) in love and forgotten all about those of us who enjoy this blog. Oh well, so long and good luck...
Posted by:
Tim |
January 7, 2008 01:36 PM
I bet his date was the insane display director at some fabulous department store. After they finished dinner, the date encased Fagilicious in wax and has him posed in some wonderful Burton-esque holiday display window in beautiful downtown Cleveland. Scream, (pause) and then scream again!!
Posted by:
The Ghost of Vincent Price |
January 8, 2008 07:42 PM
When last seen, FAF was last seen screaming "iron my shirt" at Hillary Clinton. It seems, our beloved blogger got wax on more than his jacket and couldn't get his iron to work.
Posted by:
Martha |
January 8, 2008 07:46 PM
Where the heck are you FAF? I hope you didn't have another medical issue! I'm concerned and hope you let us know that you're okay!
Posted by:
Ray Ray |
January 12, 2008 10:23 PM
Honey, I'm telling ya' the FAF has been dipped in hot wax and is presently passing his time modeling one of Cheryl Tieg's latest numbers in the front window of Angels Wings of Fashion boutique on 25th Street in beautiful downtown Cleveland.
Posted by:
The Mad Display Director |
January 14, 2008 08:01 PM
As much as I enjoy the idea of a gay Evening Primrose being reality in downtown Clevelend. The F.A.F. has been spotted over at cowsinthebarn.com for an extended weekend at Casa de MAK. Maybe he decided to show off wax boy, and we can expect many tales of debauchery from NYC.
Posted by:
Bill |
January 15, 2008 11:05 AM
Hey Bill,
Followed the link to your blog. Thanks, I'm always looking for a new, interesting read. Great tattoo, BTW.
Posted by:
But the Barn Door Stays Open |
January 15, 2008 07:42 PM
I'm skeptical on the report from NYC by Bill. He showed up pics of his tattoos (very nice, btw) but no pics of FAF. I could easily say that FAF is bringing Kripsy Kremes to me in Memphis. I think we need evidence - nay, proof! - that FAF is/was in NYC.
Posted by:
MemphisJohn |
January 16, 2008 09:14 AM
I'm not the author of Cows in the Barn, just a regular reader.
The FAF and MAK have mentioned one another in past blog posts, in fact the FAF is a regualr commenter on Cows in the Barn.
I was only trying to report an FAF sighting, perhaps it's like Elvis sightings and we'll never know for sure.
Posted by:
Bill |
January 16, 2008 10:27 AM
Love the Elvis response, Bill!
You know, with FAF not posting and only his readers posting, this is like the inmates taking over the prison.
Posted by:
MemphisJohn |
January 16, 2008 10:40 AM
